Saturday, May 30, 2009
Deciding Whether To Marry/Marriage Lore
Thoughtful Conclusions About Commitment
Deciding Whether To Marry
Though we may make many commitments throughout our time on earth, few
have a lifelong impact on the path our lives will take. The decision
to marry someone you love—to bond yourself to them completely—is
unlike any other and can reshape your existence. When two people have
similar goals, values, and needs, marriage can result in a lifetime
partnership of love and respect, shared laughter and tears,
friendship, and intimacy that is ultimately fulfilling. Love is often
cited as the sole prerequisite of a strong and stable married life.
However, the decision to get married should be made with the mind and
the soul as well as with the heart. Carefully considering whether you
truly want to get married, both individually and as a couple, can
ensure that if you do choose to marry, your relationship can grow to
The decision-making process you employ to determine whether you should
marry should be a thoughtful and honest one in which you appraise not
only your partner but also yourself. Consider that love and attraction
do not guarantee long-term compatibility. If your relationship is not
secure, marriage will not make it so. Likewise, if your partner is not
as attentive, loving, or kind as you would like, your becoming spouses
will not change that. Marriage has no power to permanently fill any
emotional or spiritual gaps in your life. Before you choose to marry,
ask yourself whether you and your partner are adept at resolving
conflict, can speak openly to one another, and fully respect one
another. Your attitudes regarding the nature of marital commitment,
children and child rearing, and marital roles may be the same or they
may differ. It is your shared responsibility to discuss your
similarities and come to agreements regarding your differences that
will predict how successful yo! ur future marriage will be. Often
times, younger couples rush into marriage just for the wedding dress,
the ring, the party, and honeymoon. Would you still be willing to be
married if you couldn’t have these things?
Remember that planning a wedding is simple when compared to the
intricacies of nurturing a marriage. The honeymoon and nesting period
will eventually wear off, and what you are left with is a partner for
life. When you work together with your partner, reassure and support
one another, and are honest about your feelings regarding marriage,
you’ll come to the right decision.
Marriage Correspondences and Lore
Marriage, or hand-fasting, is said to be luckiest when held in June. There are also just as many different traditions around to keep the wedding lucky. Where a whole book could be written on marriage traditions, I have chosen just a few, from the well known, to hopefully a couple of obscure ones.
"Something old, something new; Something borrowed, something blue."
Of course, the tradition of throwing rice, breadcrumbs, and other edibles, at the newly wed couple have many different sources. Some sources say that the edibles were thrown to attract good luck. However, the reason most told to me, is that the edibles were thrown to distract evil spirits, thus preventing them from ruining the newly weds fun. Other methods for keeping evil and mischievous spirits away are the tying of cans, bells, and other loud noise makers to the car, cart, horse drawn carriage, etc.